17 February 2026
What you didn't do to bury me,
But you forgot that I was a seed
- Dinos Christianopoulos
It's been a tough couple of months for all of us around the globe. We've been dealing with all sorts of tiny and massive issues aiming to shake our values, stamina, social life, personal life or health.
But it was unbelievably more terrifying for those living in Iran, including me. Beside communication blackouts, destruction of job market and catastrophic financial inflation; I lost my job, heard my soul wrecking, smelled blood and saw death.
I witnessed my hope fading while it was scolding to live for one more moment.
It's been a couple of weeks, or months? I don't know to be honest.
I was trying to get back to normal, and thus I wasted lots of time until I realized it's impossible to get back to who I was. It just can't happen, I'll never get back what I've lost.
I miss the old me.
It's right that I've been a loser my whole life, but even if I can't recognize the person in the mirror anymore, and have no clue where I'm going, I still have my core personality trait living in me. Barely alive under the rubbish of my disappointments, I still die to experience and die for experience.
This boy (or girl? who cares) still loves to try out new things and discover new feelings. No matter how bitter, dark times are also part of existence. I know none of us signed up for this but crying is valid, it exists in all of us and therefor it's valid and valuable.
It's disgusting that I have to write this but a piece of gold remains beautiful, no matter in the jewelry store or in dumpster.
So here I am, I don't know where I'd be tomorrow but glad to be in My End of Internet once again :)
